Your relationship doesn’t have to stay stuck in uncertainty
When everything feels unclear, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or frozen.
Discernment Counseling offers a place to slow down, sort through what matters, and gain the clarity you need to move forward with confidence and intention.
Your relationship doesn’t have to stay stuck in uncertainty
When everything feels unclear, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or frozen.
Discernment Counseling offers a place to slow down, sort through what matters, and gain the clarity you need to move forward with confidence and intention.
What is Discernment Counseling
Discernment Counseling is a short term, structured process for couples who are unsure whether to stay together or move toward separation. It’s not marriage counseling and it’s not divorce counseling — it’s a clarity process. The goal is to help you understand what has happened in the relationship, what each of you wants, and what the most honest next step should be.
How to know if Discernment Counseling is right for you
Discernment Counseling is designed for mixed agenda couples — where one partner is leaning in and wants to save the marriage, and the other partner is leaning out but still open to exploring whether meaningful change is possible. It’s the right fit when you’re not ready to end the marriage, but you’re also not ready to commit to traditional couples therapy. If you want a structured, respectful way to slow down and understand your options, this process meets you exactly in that in between space.
When Discernment Counseling is not the right fit
Discernment Counseling isn’t the right approach for every situation. It is not recommended when one partner has already made a firm decision to end the marriage and is not open to further reflection. The process also isn’t appropriate when there is ongoing intimate partner violence, coercion, or situations where emotional or physical safety cannot be ensured. In these cases, the priority is safety, stability, and individual support.
Discernment Counseling is also not a fit when both partners are fully committed to repairing the relationship. In that case, traditional couples therapy is the more effective and direct path forward.
If any of these situations apply, it doesn’t mean you’re out of options — it simply means a different type of support will serve you better. My role is to help you find the right next step, whether that’s individual therapy, couples therapy, or resources focused on safety and stabilization.
How it works
Discernment Counseling typically lasts 1–5 sessions, beginning with a two hour first session. Each meeting includes time together and time individually with each partner. Most of the work happens in the individual conversations, where each person has focused space to:
This structure lowers defensiveness, reduces conflict, and helps each partner gain clarity that is often difficult to access in joint conversations.
After the individual work, we come back together briefly to share insights and determine whether another session would be helpful. Across the process, we explore three possible paths: staying the course for now, moving toward separation, or committing to a structured six month reconciliation plan.
Why this process helps
Discernment Counseling gives couples:
It helps you move out of limbo and toward a decision that aligns with your values, your needs, and your future.
My role as your counselor
My role is to guide, not to pressure. I hold a neutral, steady space where both partners feel heard and respected. I help you explore your individual perspectives, understand the patterns that brought you here, and consider what each path would mean for your future. I don’t take sides, and I don’t push for a particular outcome. My commitment is to help you reach a decision that is thoughtful, informed, and grounded.
The next step
I look forward to connecting with you and sharing more about how Discernment Counseling works and whether it aligns with what you’re hoping for. The first step in counseling begins with a complimentary 20-minute phone call with each partner individually. This brief conversation helps us confirm together that this approach is the right fit.
For more information or to schedule your calls, simply select "Get Started" below.